21 Comments
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Jennifer N. Haddock's avatar

You're so imaginative! I love reading your stories .I think you captured the feeling of loneliness and being a million miles from home pretty well. this was scary -- to see names disappear like that and to be so far ahead... a little horror with the sci-fi!

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Thank you thank you! I'm so glad you liked it

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Kelly Courtez's avatar

So good!!

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Thanks Kelly!

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A.M. Blackmere's avatar

This gave me heavy 2001: A Space Odyssey vibes but with a sharper gut-punch—the reveal of how long he’s been adrift hit hard. The detail of R.E.N.E. hiding the truth “to spare his distress” was both chilling and tragic. I couldn’t stop reading once the tension started stacking. Well done!

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Love that comparison that is awesome HAL was definitely an inspiration! Thank you!

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France Pinzon • literary speck's avatar

I was “reading” using the built-in narration while doing some chores. Man, I loved the twist. Also ironic how I’m relying on AI to deliver the story to me. Quite meta: a human story about AI as told by a human through AI. Thought that was funny.

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Super meta!! That's hilarious, thanks for reading!

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Daniel P. Douglas's avatar

You nailed the feeling of being totally alone in space. The twist about being asleep for 569 years hit pretty hard. Well done, Javier!

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Thank you!!

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Brenda - A Voice that Wonders's avatar

Incredible. Amazing. Mind boggling. Just Brilliant.

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Too kind! I was worried this one wasn’t going to land (pardon the pun) I’m glad you liked it!

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Brenda - A Voice that Wonders's avatar

Oh it landed dear Javier and so expertly too. Hope your enjoyed your writers retreat.

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Christopher Gulledge's avatar

Great work!

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Thank you!

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Tim Wright's avatar

How much sci-fi have you read and written? This story is hitting on all cylinders and looks like the opening to something bigger. Well done!

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Javier Mixco's avatar

I’m a big sci fi fan though the only stuff I’ve written is very subtle speculative fiction. I’m glad you liked it!!

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Tim Wright's avatar

One of the guys in my writing group does sci-fi and sword-and-sorcery fantasy. I used to read piles of sci-fi in my 20s. This story reads like an opening chapter, and now the captain has figure out how to save his ass a million miles away from anything and 500+ years past his scheduled departure date.

You could try mapping out a plot and see if it leads anywhere. That's what happened to me with "Sunday Visitor" and "The Informer." If you're still at the writers conference, talk to people and show them the story.

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Good idea! His situation feels hopeless. Have you read Hail Mary Project by Andy Weir

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MJ Polk's avatar

This is fantastic Javier! Reading this was like falling through a black 🕳️ hole - totally out of control! I was actually holding my breath for a minute there.😶‍🌫️

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Javier Mixco's avatar

Thanks MJ!

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